Saturday, February 10, 2007

I'm am the father of Dannilynn...for crying out loud!

I’m throwing my hat in – I may be the father!

All these freaks want Dannilynn’s money. I’m surprised Michael Jackson hasn’t thrown his “hat” in the ring….if the baby was wearing a veil and her nose was sliding off her face – I would say he was as much a candidate as Zsa Zsa's husband or Ice Poppy Howard (he's been dead for over a decade now - what is the freezer life on sperm??? I know I can't keep some meat over 6 months in the freezer). My husband is scary -- he just said something about Billionaire Sperm at the Tasty-Freeze - I said, "it could be Ben & Jerry's new flavor" -- "Everything but the Frozen Sperm" Jim added. Sometimes he is almost as funny as I and sometimes I am almost as modest as he. I do think that Howard Stern (her lawyer, partner) appears to genuinely care about her - but who the hell knows.

Rosie was bashing Anna Nicole the morning of her death. Rosie has some clout. I want to tell her she can bash my ex-husband all she wants... The whole thing is sad.

On another frightening note, I'm already freaking out about our bathroom gutting. It won't be until April - but we'll be without a shower for 7 days. I'm going to have to whore myself to use someone's shower (if I were my mother I could just go to the truck stop - they all know her there)...and anyone in their right mind wouldn't want Bryzilla in their shower - so we're going to have to run him through the car wash...Andrew -- we can fill up a big tub and give him a wash or go to one of his aunt's houses ... I think we should have the half bath remodeled first and add a shower stall (we'll have to cut into Bryzilla's room...) then we'll have backup...I have to win that damn Room a Day Giveaway - Kimberly Clark is having .... I've entered every day. I never win anything.

Okay, back to dinner - I'm making Hawaiian chicken rolls - butter, macadamia nuts, green onions, parsley spread on flatten chicken breasts rolled up, dredged in egg then breadcrumbs with coconut - I'm making basil garlic rice to go with it. Luckily Bryzilla won't eat anything this good...leftovers for the mere mortals!

I baked 45 Noah's Ark cookies and 90 plus mini animal pairs (elephant, giraffe, lions) - two for each packet for another baby shower....the things I get myself into. The price of being good.

1 comment:

Ankit said...

Anna Nicole and I were having an affair for years so I think Dannilynn is really mine. Everyone already knows I've been lookin for a sugar-momma and Anna Nicole was willing to fill that role. One thing led to another and then I got a call from A.N. telling me I let one slip past the goalie.

I don't get how my blog was frightening :-P