Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Just Wednesday

I got nothing.

I am lacking luster. (I started this 5/23 - and now it is 6/6 - that shows you the enormity of my lack of luster.)

Andrew was officially diagnosed with mild PDD/Asperger's syndrome - a variant of autism. The doctor said he was advanced intellectually after questioning and examining him and should do okay with behavior modification. Jim and I thought all along that is what we were going to hear - but once we got the "diagnosis" we felt so afraid that we are going to fail him - not do the right things...this next month or so - we are going to concentrate on Andrew - working on his behavior issues - tantrums, triggers and his hand flapping and other repetitive issues.

(I wrote the paragraph above on 5/23.)

On 5/24, I was digging deep into the recesses of my fast emptying mind and tried to remember - "what is different with Andrew the last six months?" His symptoms: hand flapping, zoning out at times, lining things in rows (not excessively but a lot) were always there - and mild...but the aggression and crying and moodiness - the last six months has been unbearable. At the point, where I would have to leave the park or friend's homes because he was throwing things and hitting....well, the difference is - Andrew's immunologist put him on Claritin. Yes, his nose stopped running but he mood changed severely. I did some research...entry after entry of mothers (and adults) who had the same problem with their children. I took him off that night - I had a new mild manner child (Dr. Jekyll). Of course, one week later - Andrew was running 103/104 temps and then developed a horrible cough and congestion - but he wasn't acting like Mr. Hyde. He was coughing so bad last Friday and Saturday we gave him Robitussin cough medicine - welcome back Mr. H. Sunday we decided not to give him anything (the pediatrician said this was a virus). But we caved because he was coughing so much he threw up four times - so we gave him a little Benadryl. Mr. H was still here. Last night, he finally started acting more like the good doctor. We'll see how he does in school today since he seems better with the cough. His teacher told me last week that his behavior was like "night and day". He was so well behaved. Even taking my sick baby into the city on Friday - to see Thomas and Friends - and I had to carry him for roughly six hours up and down flights of stairs - he was still behaving so nicely not hitting or being mean - just saying "I want to go home." Yeah, me too Dorothy.

Andrew really hasn't eaten anything of substance for over a week - I'm pushing fluids. His little belly is gone. He weighed 44 lbs. on my scale a couple weeks ago - now he's down to 38. I hope I get this virus for about six months.

Last week, we found out Peggy (my sister-in-law) has breast cancer as well. (Nora (my other sister-in-law) was diagnosed a few weeks before, had biopsies and lymph node removal and is Stage 1 and will get radiation). Peggy has a few spots so they are doing a mastectomy (Stage 0 though). They gave her options - silicon or fat transplant (doing a mini-tummy tuck). I think the tummy tuck will take her too long to recover from - so I have signed on as a fat donor. The mastectomy will make her cancer free, she'll have a perky breast (what will they do about the other one - I know it would be bad to have one standing up and one laying down...) and a flatter tummy. Sign me up. Every female member of my mother's family has died of breast or ovarian cancer. My mother's brothers -both of them have died of cancer. I have had two lumpectomies - and I'm about five years behind on a mammogram and I'll do that soon. I'm telling you - if they find something - chop them both off, I'll be 20 pounds lighter and doc pretend like you are taking the fat from my tummy and throw it away - I don't need them reconstructed. I'm 44 years old - I'm past the need for perky anything..and after being with Jim for 10 years now - he's forgotten I even have breasts. He thinks the gods have spoken when I take all my clothes off for sex.

The curse other sister-in-law, Ann (yes, I have many 'in-laws' - you know the Irish...can't just have one (like a potato chip)....she had her car parked at work in Long Island City last Friday ... someone came to her office (she's a school nurse)...told her come quick there is something bad I have to show you - she thought - oh dear God - some child is very hurt or sick....Ann asked her what is it - what is it..."it's your car, it isn't good". Seems a tractor trailer ran over it. Bye, bye, bye, bye...

Making 75 cupcakes for my friend's party on Saturday - and then making 70 little mini cheesecakes and 3 or 4 batches of brownies for my niece's graduation party on Sunday. I felt good that Nora asked me if I wanted to make the cake or anything for the party - I passed on the cake - after 75 cupcakes - I don't want to see or smell cake (it's the smell of the icing that makes me sick) but I'll do the cheesecakes and brownies and some miniature chocolate pudding pies for Brendan (nephew) that is all he likes in the dessert field - except for ice cream.

Did I mention we are finally getting a fence!! And I get to keep all my major organs. Hooray for daddy!

1 comment:

Ankit said...

Do you remember Cartesian Dualism from philosophy? The whole mind/matter debate. I find it amazing how physical chemicals can impact us emotionally.. making us happy or sad or angry, etc. So we can't be just minds that have created an illusion of the world around us. Unless the chemicals themselves are an illusion which we use to explain why things happen! dum dum dummmmmmmmm!!!

ok, my server install is complete.. back to work. ttyl