Sunday, December 16, 2007

Happy Birthday to me!

Nice birthday - nice time at church, then was taken out to lunch, then got some nice gifts, and we bought a tree for our friends who took us out to lunch. All in all - a good day.

Started my blood pressure medicine Friday night. Friday my BP was 160/100 - I'm anxious to check it tomorrow at CVS. I feel calmer...along with weak, nauseous and dizzy.

Going to bed...we have the lights on the tree and a few decorations on it. Lots to do this week.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Traditions....hum bug

My husband who has been working all the time (coupled with a Christmas party at work this week)...decided on Saturday after haircuts for him and start a family tradition ... drive 50 plus miles, saw down our own tree, pay $80 for it and drive 50 miles back with a screaming 3 1/2 year old saying - "get that tree off my car!!!" I swear to God, Hanukkah is looking pretty good - and I love me some latkes.

I've let friendships slide and sadly I care one minute and don't care the next. No one, no one understands the emotional stress of having a child with autism and having a husband (who while working all the time) thinks Andrew can "help" it. If he had cancer or diabetes - would he say that?

If I hear one more time, "do you think my mother would allow this behavior?" he'll join his mother behind the pearly gates sooner than he thinks. Everyone has stress in their life - but it is true having a child with autism is a very lonely type of stress. 85 percent of marriages dissolve when a child has autism...and mothers end up defending their child non-stop and having to explain to the little old ladies on the church elevator that he isn't really a total brat - when he says "go away" at the top of his lungs --- or when the priest says "let's all share in this..." and Andrew shouts out - "I don't like to share"'s a non stop battle and those are just examples of mild outbursts.

My husband is required to take 2 weeks off in a row. He has like 6 weeks - and has taken 2 weeks off this year and has weeks from years gone by left to take. I have to schedule mammograms, see a seizure specialist and lower my blood pressure before I die...but he can't get his boss to say "okay take these two weeks" how in the fuck can I schedule things. It's a fucking bank not an organ retrieval center. I appreciate that he has a good job - but it's simple things like scheduling a day off - that constipates these people...and it's my husband's fault - because he is so fucking busy that he can't stop and say "I need to get this settled". Arrgghhh. But yet they have time to schedule and have a office holiday party - where everyone drinks and acts stupid - get your fucking work done ... drink later. Now hear me out - I'm all for partying and all for drinking (it's my next favorite thing to do after breathing) but if you have to work until 2 a.m. one night, work from home the other nights after your child goes to bed, and can't schedule your entitled vacation - then you might want to put down the cocktail weinee and get your work done....but that is just me.

I have to learn to suffer the fools.

Happy Holidays.