Friday, June 20, 2008

Stick figures....

Most people wouldn't get giddy when their four year draws stick figures and houses ... we do. Andrew has never shown any interest whatsoever in drawing or coloring. Now for the last two weeks, he wants to do nothing but make cards, pictures, etc. It's wonderful. He is using his imagination and his drawing is pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.

But his flapping/seizure like activity is worse at night. It's so intense it scares me but we can't have everything.

They have changed my medication added more medication, drawn blood work. The changed medication is making my head ache constantly and I feel like I'm in a daze...but I guess that is better than dying right?

Tim Russert's Memorial Service was beautiful in DC this week....as the ukulele version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow played and folks walked out of the Kennedy Center - a stunning double rainbow was over DC - makes you believe....man, I'll be lucky to get a half dozen mourners at my funeral. I better start living right.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Tim Russert

What a seemingly great man. A man who loved his family, his job, his friends and his country and Irish to boot.

He lived a great life...albeit short.

Rest in peace, Mr. Russert.

Depression

I've been in a chronic worsening state of depression for months. It all exploded when I was put on blood pressure medication in December and I even gained more weight to compound the fertility drugs, hormones, miscarriage weight....I went to the doctor last week and she told me that the medicine I was put on causes weight gain and depression - great. Just great.


So she weaned me off it and put me on another - as I was weaning off the medicine - I felt better and I lost 8 pounds (in four days) without being on the treadmill for 3 hours a day. Now I started the new medicine and I feel even more down. Lord, what is worse dying of a stroke or fashioning yourself a noose....BUT I would never do that because Andrew needs me and Jim needs me and who would wash Bryan's underwear. Hell, Bryan doesn't even want to wash Bryan's underwear!

Depression blows.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Andrew is making headway!

Andrew is starting to respond amazingly. He is in a better mood, more patient...talks a lot more (he has always had a wonderful vocabulary) but now he initiates conversation with everyone. He talks about friends now. He loves school. He still has many of his issues but he really making progress. God must have gotten pissed about my footprints blog! Sorry God. But HE understands.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

What is more disturbing???

The idea of manties -- yes, folks, panties for men - all decked out with lace and bows - or your husband telling you he wants some. I almost had Dina McGreevey on the phone to get her lawyer's number....when Jim said he was joking and thought the whole idea was insane.

I'm sorry any man who wants to wear panties....isn't a man.

Check out: My Brother Tom

This video touched my heart. It is thought provoking and wonderful.

http://www.aane.org/about_aane/aane_video_gallery.html

Scroll down on the page....My Brother Tom.

Carnivals, street fairs...and life

For three days, Andrew begged to go to the carnival that was set up outside his school. He's been to many festivals before. We took him on Saturday...an hour before the heavens broke loose and rain and thunder crashed down upon us.

He held his ears, he shook, he was terrified. It broke my heart (I know it breaks alot). He had a little fun in the mirror house (but was too scared to come down the slide a second time). He had fun on the big super slide with his dad. But every ride -- he tried them all once and that was it...was scary for him.

Saturday afternoon we had a graduation party that I baked five different bars/brownies for and made penne with vodka sauce (for 50). It was for our nephew who graduated college. Andrew and I went over a few hours late - it would be too much for both of us to stay there 4 hours. I would have surely killed someone. But Andrew had a great time playing ball with his older cousins (I mean older - 20, 23 etc.) I dreaded it - I know what everyone was thinking why have you gained so much weight - let's see - five miscarriages now, hormones, fertility drugs, stress, and NOT eating helped. I was hoping someone would ask me - so I could say - and "what happened to you?"

Thankfully, on Sunday there was a street fair near us - and Andrew got to jump in a few bouncy houses. He can't do any of them where you have to go into a tight opening (the catepillar one for instance) or one where he has to climb up a rope - he has a hard time and freaks out if some other kid gets behind him. But he did have fun and was happy.

My husband is depressed. His job.

There are far worse things in the world - but right now - we're just sad and tired.