Wednesday, May 20, 2009

May May Go Away...

Good heavens, it's June 3rd.

Well let's see since Friday I've been unofficially battling the dreaded "swine flu" - on Tamiflu, inhalers, etc. Now I'm going in for a chest x-ray and on antibiotics and they think oops - maybe they misdiagnosed me and I have pneumonia. I swear...most days I'm the bug. (You know, some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug).

I mucked up and told my sister-in-law over the phone that Andrew wouldn't be going to a friend's party this weekend (because of germs - which I understand even though Andrew and Jim have no symptoms) and he cried.

My husband is being deloused as we speak - he was allowed back into work today - even though he worked from 7 a.m. to midnight each and every day including the weekends - I know I know - he's lucky he has a job - but for fug's (trying to be a kinder, gentler person) sake - the slaves had more freedom.

Off to have an x-ray. Party on friends.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Lest there be any doubt

I love my son, unconditionally, wholly and without hesitation....but some days I feel like the bug and not the windshield....

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

There be days like this....

Sometimes it is so hard having an autistic child...and then I get mad at myself when there are children missing, sick, dying, dead....I love him more than anything but sometimes it is so hard. Today he went after a child who walked into the waiting room at the doctor's office (pediatric psychiatrist)....I had to pull him down the hall away from this poor child. The rest of the time - it was screaming, crying, calling me names....after we saw Dr. H...we were leaving and he went up to this child and started to jump with an autistic child is a crap shoot.

Monday, May 4, 2009

A mind is a terrible thing to lose.

It has been raining for days and I love it. Everyone hates it - but to me - it is calming and renewing. It promotes growth, it cleanses the earth - the world seems fresh during and after a rain. I could live in London or Seattle or any other city that has frequent rains.

I love thunderstorms and wind. I love snow. I love being cozy on the couch watching the snow or rain outside and knowing everyone I love is safe.

I love The Golden Girls. Something about four women living together, not alone, sharing, laughing -- I love the episodes when it was raining or a hurricane was "a comin".

I love my husband and sons. I love our friends, my friends, our family.

Today is the 2nd anniversary of Madeleine McCann being snatched from their vacation apartment in Portugal. I judged them and was harsh when it happened. My heart breaks for them.

I hate children hurting, cancer, disease, sadness, marriages in turmoil, people being mean. I hate "hate".

I'm having a zen day I suppose.