Thursday, January 28, 2010

What BROWN can't do for Andrew

Every night since his birth we've been reading to Andrew. For the last three years, we've been reading a minimum of thirty minutes each night. Perhaps this explains why he has been reading since age four - yes, I'm bragging. After reading, we say our prayers and we recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Since age three Andrew has been able to recite the Our Father and the Pledge of Allegiance.

Since the tragedy in Haiti, we've been adding to our good night prayers "Dear God, please help the people in Haiti. Give them food and water and shelter and keep them safe. Thank you God for all you give us."

It is no secret, Jim and I have desperately tried to have another baby. We've talked of adoption but not even worrying about the cost - how could I, or Jim, travel to China or another country three different times (a requirement). I cannot leave Andrew (it is hard on any child to be separated from his mother but Andrew's anxiety would be tripled) and Jim being able to take off work is extremely difficult.

I've heard talk that adopting from Haiti now has been simplified.

Andrew had two doctor's appointments today. His pediatric neurologist to review his medication and progress and then his regular pediatrician to check his ear infection and do a tympanogram and get phase II of the swine flu shot.

While waiting in the pediatrician's exam room - we had this discussion - verbatim:

"Andrew come here please I want to ask you a very important question."

I pull him in my arms and say, "What would you think about us trying to adopt an orphan from Haiti?"

"You mean like get him."

I replied, "Sort of, we would make them a part of our family to love and he would live with us." (I don't know why Andrew thought it would be a "him".)

"I guess I'm okay with that as long as he isn't brown."

"What do you mean? Your friend Ryan is brown. Our President is brown. Many of your friends in class are all shades of brown." (after I pick myself up off the floor)

"I know...but I don't care for brown."

"Andrew, people aren't colors - we can't judge a person like that."

"Well, okay if you want to but I won't spend a lot of time looking at him if he is brown - I like lighter colors."

PLEASE NOTE: No one that lives in this household has a racist bone in their body, nor have we ever referred to anyone as "brown" or "white" or even "African American" or "Caucasian". So where he got this from it puzzling.

So a few minutes ago, I asked "Andrew what did you mean about your brown comments because we don't like people based on their skin color or what they look like."

"I know that."

"So what did you mean?"

"It's okay if you want to get a brown orphan that's okay. But if he won't play with me, we have to return him." (I held in a laugh. Then a light clicked on.)

"Andrew, are you trying to say that some of your friends that are brown or tan don't play with you at school?"

"Yes, sometimes they don't play with me and it hurts my feelings."

Thank God, we didn't raise an Archie Bunker.

UPDATE: Adopting from Haiti is still an arduous process. If we had started the paperwork a year ago, they might have rushed it through but now there are so many displaced people that they are being extra cautious declaring children as orphans and they are diligent in stopping possible child-sex trafficking rings (which is very smart).

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