Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Find a Way to Cope

Since the perfect arms post things have not gotten better.

He was having horrible meltdowns during class - now he is having them at recess.  He is still singing and disturbing his classmates.  He is flapping more.  He is so incredibly anxious that he couldn't even watch the Super Bowl -- he was so scared - he begged to go to bed.  He is already sobbing and terrified about going back to Camp Anchor.  We love Camp Anchor - but some of the older campers - scare him.  He's only seven.  If a large camper is screaming or having a meltdown - it is a little much for him.  Everything is a little much for him.

After a terrible sobbing incident on the blacktop after school where boys told him "no" that he couldn't play football with them, where an older kid made fun of him and he began to sob and kept screaming - "give me a chance...I believe in myself....I can throw the football" over and over where he said, "I'm going to just run in the street and kill myself"...I asked for the promised meeting with the school psychologist and the teacher.  The teacher and I had discussed some ways to help him cope during the day.  We had hoped that the school psychologist could provide some input.  Last year they decided to place him in a regular class and took away his OT which he was getting twice a week.  They allowed us (so generous) to keep his group play and once a week single session.  He stutters horribly but they took away his speech because he has the vocabulary of a college student.

Finally we had the meeting Friday.  The school psychologist came in and sighed heavily.  Seriously bothered.  Then for forty five minutes basically told me I needed to find a way to cope better.  To tell Andrew not to tell me his problems the moment he walks in the door!  I had to sit on my hands - I'm not a violent person...but God help me.

Andrew doesn't tell me his problems.  They come out later.  When I hear about meltdowns - it's from the teacher.  I walked into the school on Friday for the meeting - two children - two children!!! told me that "Andrew had a bad day.  He was crying a lot at lunch.  I had to find someone to play with him."  Dear God the nice children are providing more support than the staff.  Almost every day a different child - tells me something different.  For weeks the teacher was telling me about the issues he was having and instead of discussing ways (therapy bands, seat cushions, velcro under his desk, walks in the hall) to help him cope, they think I'm a head case.  I had to come up with the suggestions.

After I totally went Shirley MacLaine ala Terms of Endearment - "give my daughter the fucking medicine!!!" -- the school psychologist finally got why we were there.  "You mean he use to have OT?"  Duh.  "You  mean he doesn't go to the bathroom all day in school?"  "You mean he isn't drinking any water or eating any lunch?"  Ding ding ding - the elevator is going up!

I'm giving them a week to ten days.  If things aren't better, Shirley is coming back.

2 comments:

Jill | Dulce Dough said...

It isn't something I have shared on my own blog, but my older son (16 yrs) is autistic. I can relate to so much of what you are going through, and you and Andrew are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

Andrew's Mom said...

Jill - thank you for your comment. You and your family are now in our prayers. I know things will get better and they do - and then they regress - but I have lots of hope and faith in my boy. xoxo