Andrew seems to be spiraling out of control. Angry, he is so angry. Hitting me a great deal. Stemming so badly he cannot respond to us. We're adding more medicine. The school is adding a behavioral therapist.
I know others may have thoughts of why is she blogging about this - her son is smart, is verbal and can function and I use that word loosely. Our biggest fear is that our smart, verbal son will gravely hurt someone one day. That is why I write or share what is happening with some of my close friends. I'm not complaining - and by no means do I have any less love for my child...even when he punched me in the face this morning with both hands, even yesterday when he pounded me in my back twice and then attacked me on the couch as my sister-in-law watched...I still love him to the moon and back...I just need to release it.
And even though I am empty, drained, emotionless, tired, sad and hopeless -- I believe God will help us and him, that one day things will be better for him because that is all I have left. My faith.